“So he said leave the lights on so I can look at you.’’
“I’m nauseous,” Janet says, chewing. She’s always eating. “But honey, was it great? I tried to call you at midnight.’’
I reply: “—three balls. Freak face has three balls. Tiny things like marbles.”
“At least he doesn’t have two heads.”
“One touch on one ball and it’s over. Plus, he wanted the lights on. Jerk. Every minute his Apple watch is recording his blood pressure. He has APS up the gazoo.’’
“The last boomer freak wanted it so dark I couldn’t find him,” Janet sighs. “Plus his thing was so tiny I thought it was his balls. At least your boomer freak wants the lights on so he can see you. He gets my vote.’’
‘’Are you kidding? He wanted the lights on so I could see him? He thinks he’s Gods’ gift. Every day he works out with his trainer Sasha. He hangs around Starbucks talking to twenty-year-old girls with stringy blonde hair and bare midriffs, and bragging about his Mensa meetings. Cheap too. He takes you to the Olive Garden, thinks it’s great. He owns three houses, has a pilot for his schmata airplane and he gives rubber-band balls for gifts. Also, he’s a moron. He watches The Bachelor, and Cops.”
Janet sighs. “The closest I’ve been to fucking lately is my pelvic ultra sound. These schmuck boomer freaks either die inside you, or they urinate in the bed. The paraplegic guy I met at the veteran’s fundraiser had no arms or legs but he had a huge dick and knew what to do with it." She sighs heavily. “This aging shit is the shits.”
“It’s the mind,” I say.
“Mind schmind! Honey, Walter, the sixty-year-old foodie and intellect had to inject his shriveled up penis. It was supposed to expand but he had to call the medic. I’ve had it.”
“Well, I haven’t. I want love and fame and money and a house in the country and all of it.”
“Dream on. But bet you can’t dream without Advil P.M.’’
A JDate response:
I am a retired physician and psychotherapist, into reading, writing, and watching quality films. I am smart, sane, sexy, and an all round great guy (modest too) I’m eighty and have a very ample size penis.
Why don’t you check me out on J Date (Marin Doc)?
“I’m nauseous,” Janet says, chewing. She’s always eating. “But honey, was it great? I tried to call you at midnight.’’
I reply: “—three balls. Freak face has three balls. Tiny things like marbles.”
“At least he doesn’t have two heads.”
“One touch on one ball and it’s over. Plus, he wanted the lights on. Jerk. Every minute his Apple watch is recording his blood pressure. He has APS up the gazoo.’’
“The last boomer freak wanted it so dark I couldn’t find him,” Janet sighs. “Plus his thing was so tiny I thought it was his balls. At least your boomer freak wants the lights on so he can see you. He gets my vote.’’
‘’Are you kidding? He wanted the lights on so I could see him? He thinks he’s Gods’ gift. Every day he works out with his trainer Sasha. He hangs around Starbucks talking to twenty-year-old girls with stringy blonde hair and bare midriffs, and bragging about his Mensa meetings. Cheap too. He takes you to the Olive Garden, thinks it’s great. He owns three houses, has a pilot for his schmata airplane and he gives rubber-band balls for gifts. Also, he’s a moron. He watches The Bachelor, and Cops.”
Janet sighs. “The closest I’ve been to fucking lately is my pelvic ultra sound. These schmuck boomer freaks either die inside you, or they urinate in the bed. The paraplegic guy I met at the veteran’s fundraiser had no arms or legs but he had a huge dick and knew what to do with it." She sighs heavily. “This aging shit is the shits.”
“It’s the mind,” I say.
“Mind schmind! Honey, Walter, the sixty-year-old foodie and intellect had to inject his shriveled up penis. It was supposed to expand but he had to call the medic. I’ve had it.”
“Well, I haven’t. I want love and fame and money and a house in the country and all of it.”
“Dream on. But bet you can’t dream without Advil P.M.’’
A JDate response:
I am a retired physician and psychotherapist, into reading, writing, and watching quality films. I am smart, sane, sexy, and an all round great guy (modest too) I’m eighty and have a very ample size penis.
Why don’t you check me out on J Date (Marin Doc)?